I Couldn’t Take it Any More!

clearwaterSo I went to Florida. Sorry for not keeping up with my postings. I’ve been very busy…on the beach…counting fluffy clouds…wondering if I mixed a #2  SPF with a #4  SPF, would I get a #3 SPF? Any why is there NO #3 SPF??? I want a 3!

This got me thinking about what my ideal job would be.

So, after much deliberation, I’ve decided that I would need 2 jobs, actually. The first would be: WATER TEMPERATURE TESTER in Clearwater Beach. I’d probably have to get down to the beach by 11 or so, set up all my temperature equipment, measure the actual temperature, break down all of the equipment, text my report in to the lifeguard station and National Weather Service. That would take me til at least 1PM…oh…prime tanning time…what do you know!

Then at around 4pm, I’d have to leave for my other job, which would be TAMPA BAY RESTAURANT CRITIC.  But I’d be more than that. I’d be the female Anthony Bordain (he is SO HOT!!!!!!!) of the Gulf Coast. A quirky, snarky yet loveable trash mouth who tells it like it is.

They need a restaurant critic because, as an awesome cook coming from the NY area AND an Italian family, I know good food, and they don’t have much of it down here.  Except for the Cubans…boy, they have it right!

But the pizza…appalling! Chinese food…you don’t want to know! And what’s with grits on everything? Grits is what I get in my orifices after my morning job on the beach.

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