What’s the “i” for in iPhone?

iphone3g-australiaI admit I’m a tech junkie. So when the iphone 3G came out in June all my friends and kids were like…”Oh you’ve gotta get the new iPhone. You’ll love it. It’s so high tech. You can get email and surf the web and yadda, yadda…”

So, I (who have been an AT and T wireless customer for over 15 years and have given them enough business and money to support a small country) go to the ATT store to buy a new iPhone for a measly $200. (Yes, I have to tour old ladies all over lower Manhattan for 2 days to make $200…is it worth it???)

What do they say to me??? I’m “not eligible for an upgrade at this time” and MY iPhone will cost $500. What???? What???? WTF! I can’t even convince them that I am their best customer. Their hands are tied by the evil APPLE CORPS.

So, I wait like a fool until October when I’m “eligible” for their little gizmo and my daughter and I get out iPhones. She loves hers. I HATE mine. It is a great gadget but it is the worst phone I’ve ever had.

It has no speed dial. You can’t text photos. It has no flip, so obviously if you’re talking trash about somebody you have to be VERY careful to be sure the phone is off. My family and friends are ready to kill me because I “pocket dial” them constantly cuz when you grab the phone, you call somebody unless you constantly lock it after every use. It’s big and bulky. You can’t hold it easily in the crook of your shoulder. It’s slippery but when you add a case it makes it even bigger.

To call Liza from my old phone: Flip open, press and hold 5.

To call her from the iPhone: Press the little circle. Then slide the bar to unlock (which you CAN’T  do in NJ in the wintertime because you have gloves on and it won’t respond) Then press the phone icon on the bottom of the screen. Then select contacts. Then scroll down to the “L”. Then press Liza. Then select which of her numbers you want to call and press that. The phone will now call Liza. Oh, and do this while driving….

This is the stupidest thing ever! So I’m getting ready for work last weekend and the phone slips out of my hands in the bathroom and drops about 2 feet to the floor…face down. When I picked it up it looked like it had been shot…shattered screen. I had to go to work for a week, so I taped it up so I wouldn’t cut my fingers on the screen and did a little research.broken-iphone

I was told that I wasn’t “eligible for an upgrade at this time” and that it would cost me $599 to replace my phone. Some local yokel said he could fix it for $100 but it would void my Apple warranty…which doesn’t cover the glass so who cares? I gave in and went to the Apple Store to see a “Genius” (yes, that’s what they call them..I’m not even makin this up) and he “fixes” my phone…which basically means he pulls out the sim card, sticks it in a refurbished phone and charges me $200. But my warranty is still good…whatever the hell it’s good for, I don’t know.

So, here I am with my replacement iPhone. My cost since October; over $400 (not to mention the extra $30 a month they get for internet access which didn’t even work the first 3 months I had the damn thing).

So, what’s the i for in iPhone? Idiotic, immoral, inconvenient, ineffective, inflexible, insane, irrational, and irritating. I have to wait until October 2010 until I’m “eligible for an upgrade” at which time I may have to upgrade this $400 paperweight to a place where the sun don’t shine…if ya get my drift!

2 Responses to “What’s the “i” for in iPhone?”

  1. Joey says:

    First of all this is coming from someone who is jokingly called Amish. I have no cell phone. No call waiting. No caller ID. I still have dial up internet. I have to unplug my answering machine phone jack to connect my internet jack, which turns off my answering machine for days. I have an old school tv and a black and white 6inch in the kitchen, totalling two for the entire house. The heat was not turned up past 55 all winter. I haven’t had a clothes dryer for 4 years now. I’ve only ever owned one digital camera which I smashed, due to my inability to understand high tech cameras and have not replaced it yet. My computer was given to me 5 years ago and my brother has repaired it several times by piecing it together with trash picked parts. Windows on my computer keeps telling me my version is not valid…umm for 2 years now. My cable TV service is the bare minimum. Comcast doesn’t even offer it anymore and hasn’t for years. I called to complain when I kept loosing channels and they informed me I wasn’t paying for them anyway. The digital switch over is going to really confuse me. Most of my clothes have been handed down by the author of this blog. My cordless house phone is from the 80’s. Believe it or not I live a pretty happy and healthy life. My point? I’m cheap? I’m crazy? I hate technology? I guess all of the above, but when the grid fails and the country goes dark, I will be fine. I might even shine!

    ps. No phones in the bathroom! That’s just gross!

    joey

  2. Kathy says:

    I know! I was driving home from the evil Apple Store. After consulting my GPS locator, I took the Garden State Parkway which scanned my EZ Pass when I realized that I am TOTALLY on the grid. Big Brother knows my every move! How did this happen to me? Back in the 60’s I was a happy hippie who just wanted to stick it to the man…